Jill Pasquinelli writes: “Moving into the Great Unknown: A Life in Transition” in The Main Central Jin Shin Jyutsu Newsletter, issue Number 77, Summer 2012:
The family has been looking into alternative treatments. Henry’s four children, his wife, and many friends have dedicated themselves to the task of finding a cure, or at least some kind of treatment to extend his life for as much time as possible. He is already receiving Jin Shin Jyutsu, acupuncture and physical therapy, keeping him alive and allowing some quality of life. They also found a new treatment which is a chicken virus that is being used in Israel and in the U.S., but they’re still doing trials on it. There have been some remarkable recoveries for some people with metastatic bladder cancer. Henry and his wife actually talked to one person on the phone from the Bay Area who made a recovery.
The doctors are now pushing a new chemotherapy…one that shows better results from testing his tumors. The tumors are more responsive. However, there’s some question as to whether Henry is strong enough for another round of chemotherapy. This cancer is aggressive and moving fast, so they want to do it as soon as possible.
This could be a life or death decision. What’s going to give the better outcome? A very well know acupuncturist and herbalist from this area said this is a time of limiting regret. Which decision will be the right one with the desired result? Will there be any regrets in choosing one or the other? Which one might grant the time Henry needs?
It’s “let’s make a deal” time. What kind of deal can he strike with God? What kind of bargain can he make? The irony is that Henry built his career on bargaining and winning. Part of this equation is regret management, not looking back and thinking if only… There’s no guarantee, no right answer, except maybe turning to that deeper instinct and knowing that guided Henry through his life.
As I watch and witness this process, it’s so clear to me that this is Henry’s journey, and only his. There is no better or wrong decision to be made, in fact I think the real thing at hand here is much bigger than any of us can imagine, the bigger picture of one’s destiny.
This is another aspect of 3rd Depth where decision making and mystery lie together as part of the soul’s journey, propelling us forward into unknown territory. We’re making our path as we go along.
Henry picks the new chemotherapy. It seems the more secure choice that comes with doctors, approval, and studies behind it. The picture has the illusion of certainty or at least of buying time.
The family is happy about his choice. Hope is alive and wedding bells are ringing.
Henry will also begin the chicken virus a week after chemotherapy, starting with a lower dose.
I can see Henry surrender to some innate intelligence, some inner voice that is guiding him and directing him now. That inner knowing is his alone.
I watch him take in the miracles of life around him, hearing a song being sung for him, feeling the sun on his hand, coming alive as friends and family come up to talk to him while at the same time giving each and every one in the family an order, a direction or chore to do on his behalf. I have to laugh as I think it takes a village to attend to Henry. He’s just so Henry and will be to the end.
I think that we die as we have lived, true to ourselves in being who we truly are with all of our gifts and limitations.
Thank you, Jill.
Thank you, Mary.
Thank you, David.
Gassho, Namaste, Blessings
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