A Personal Account of Critical Disharmony

Jill Holden shares part of her journey in the Summer issue of The Main Central Jin Shin Jyutsu Newsletter, issue Number 53, Summer 2006:

I’m often asked in class, and even in my treatment sessions with clients, the question, “Why do you think you got lymphoma when you had been involved with Jin Shin Jyutsu for 16 years before you were diagnosed?”

I’ve lived in this question for 10 years now, wondering the same thing myself. I never asked myself, “Why me?” – Rather, “How could this have happened?” In fact, prior to my diagnosis I was healthier than I’d ever been in my life.

There are so many possible answers and theories; the environment, heredity, diet, stress, lifestyle, destiny, karma, my past lives…and it goes on, but in truth the big answer is, “I don’t know.”

My diet was healthy, I exercised, practiced yoga, meditated, saw a homeopath, osteopath, and received biweekly Jin Shin Jyutsu sessions, to name some of the things I was doing. I was doing all the right things, and yet I got cancer.

Within a second,  my life was completely different. What I thought I knew, what I believed in, my whole orientation to life was turned upside down. I had no ground, no belief to hold on to. The only thing that seemed of value was to explore what meaning this had in my life.

Some things Mary had said came to me: “Now I know, I know nothing.” …to live in the groundlessness of my life, to really understand that all I have is this moment, maybe this day. A friend of mine with metastatic breast cancer said to me, “Jill, there are no bad days.” It’s not what happens to us, or what comes our way, but how we deal with what we’re given. How do we deal with adversity? Now Mary’s words come more alive than ever: “KNOW MYSELF BE IT IS, IS. AND AS IT IS, IT IS.”

Pema Chodron, a great Tibetan Buddhist nun says, “Right there in the uncertainty of everyday chaos is our own wisdom mind.”

As I was struggling with the question, “What happened here?” – one day Lynne Pflueger and I were talking. I mentioned the confusion I was having with all of this, and she said “Jin Shin Jyutsu doesn’t save you from your life. You don’t escape just because you’re doing all the right things. Life happens.” I was stunned by the simple truth of her statement and this became a turning point for me. It comes back to Now Know Myself. Another pearl from Pema Chodron that I love: “We are not striving to solve a problem, we are not striving to make the pain go away or become a better person. In fact we are giving up control altogether.”

In looking into this through the Jin shin Jyutsu lens, I’ve been examining this question over the last 10 years, and my experience of dealing with lymphoma has been illuminated from page 42, Text 2, Disharmony Occurring According To Age (critical). When I was 9 years old I had pretty severe asthma and allergies. This was also the year my grandfather died, and I was very close to him. So, a lot of 2nd Depth disharmony was there during the critical ages of 9 and 10 years old when the lungs are critical in the Order of Creation. It’s the beginning of the surface flows coming to meet at the Main Central Vertical at the center 13s. At age 41 I’m diagnosed with a tumor in my chest. In All Combined Energy – Timing on page 43, Text 2, there in the chest between the 13s and 14s lives 4th Depth, bladder and kidney. The relationship of 4th Depth disharmonizing 2nd Depth on the level of lumbar circle…it all comes together in a way that makes sense in these 2 pages. I can see how lymphoma makes sense if you follow it out from disharmony according to age.

And yet…I live in the mystery of it all. I know there’s a much bigger picture.

Live each day as though it’s your last. I’m off to Italy for 2-1/2 weeks to do just that! To reconnect with my roots, I’m going home. In the spirit of St. Francis, he says: “Be patient with all things, especially yourself. Healing needs patience.”

Thank you, Jill.

Thank you, Mary.

Thank you, David.

Gassho, Namaste, Blessings

All issues of The Main Central Jin Shin Jyutsu Newsletter are available at http://www.jsjinc.net.

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